…Fill me with life anew

I went for my pulminary function test yesterday, which was sort of fun.

There’s a big Plexiglas booth that made me feel like a game show contestant being kept in isolation. I got to sit in there and breathe into a plastic bag. Party.

One thing I learned is that I do not, normally, bother fully exhaling. I suppose not many of us do- breathing just with that top fraction of our lungs that doesn’t involve thinking about it. I used to have better breath control– when I sang for demanding choirmasters who expected me to make it to the end of that phrase, dammit! And while I still retain the habit of breathing with the diaphragm (rather than those skimpy little intercostals) (Hey, lookit that, the Wiki entry on intercostal muscles differentiates between passive and forced expiration… the things you learn….) I clearly don’t breathe as deeply as I think I do. But, while the tests can’t show an absence of asthma, neither did they show it clearly present– after not having taken any of my drugs for several days. So I take this as a hopeful sign that perhaps my breath is returning.

I also re-enrolled in yoga classes recently. So the whole idea of connecting body & mind, spirit & breath has been on my mind recently. I feel listless this time of year, always. I was looking at job ads and seriously considered applying for one as a sales rep for a funeral home. Because I’m good with grieving people- I have that skill set. Whatever. And I cannot help but wonder if there is a connection, somewhere, between my annual January spiritual malaise, and my annual post-Christmas capitulation to colds and flu.

Back when I was keeping a training journal on livejournal, one of my “current mood” options was “exanimate“. Yup. That’s January.


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